anonymous report:

"Martin (Marty) Hatton thought he could avoid the ARM. He couldn't. Martin is a 'Pest Controller' who has been a key killer for the Gloucestershire Badger Cull. He thinks he's been clever and evaded surveillance. Unfortunately for Martin he's not very clever at all.

We've tailed him from his home on many occasions. Sometimes to his clients and other times to his badger cull rounds. I'm sure Samantha would be very interested to know that he's not always out killing animals when he leaves his house at 16 The Nurdens, Woohope, HR1 4RG. Maybe she'd like the pictures of who he has been cheating on her with?

If you want to keep an eye out for Martin then he has the following vehicles: N754 ARW and Y391HVW they would both look a lot better if keyed in a carpark. The Land Rover might not be driving very well since we accidently poured sand into the fuel tank. The car's locks are pretty shoddy, Marty, you might want to get that looked at before something else happens.

Martin runs his mobile number is 07500 036281 or if you want a chat with Samantha while he's out killing badgers or seeing his other woman you can phone 01432 860750."