anonymous report:

"A swamp tale

Elves are known as doers and are naturally opposed to any form of human
domination and oppression. In 2014, elves prevented the killing by
hunter scum of at least 2000 wild animals (a conservative estimate) by
performing mischief (kattenkwaad).

Sadly this year too, animals will have to flee from 'fauna managers'.
Their land is still dotted with hidden killing fields. So among other
things, a swamp-fairy in the belgian cross-border region stumbled across
four hunter's seats and a poison trap. Shocked by the discovery of these
murder attributes, the little elf considered the options to do something
about this situation. Should he open a twitter or facebook account with
ALF-graphics as a profile picture and -cover and 'support' direct action
this way, or maybe send an article to the newspaper, organize a peaceful
protest, a petition or distribute flyers? But the elf realized that no
hunter will stop firing his deadly ammunition because of such actions.
At least, certainly not yet in the coming century.. Humans learn new
things awfully slow and still consider all other animals as 'products'.
They call this 'nature'.

The little elf called all swamp residents together for a meeting, which
was held hidden in the cane. From the Egret to the Fox, all animals were
unanimous: something had to be done now! So the elf volunteered and took
off to battle.

0-1
Unfortunately, because of the cumbersome presence of humans the first
hunter's seat had to be skipped: for security reasons elves can never
show their face to humans.

1-1
The tree trunk that supported the second seat had grown around its steel
cross connections, so without cutting the tree this hunter's seat could
not be taken down. However, the canvas behind which the hunters tend to
hide themselves was cut loose and hidden somewhere in the swamp, with a
birch trunk on top to allow the canvas to sink through the ice. At the
top of the seat, the elf also found a pair of rubber coated stainless
steel supports, in which hunting rifles could silently be laid down. No
more so: they were disassembled by the little elf and hidden elsewhere
in the swamp.

2-1
A bit further from the scene lay an even more cowardly murderous device,
a toxic trap 'to combat brown rats'. Releasing poison in nature.. this
made the little elf very angry. Stupid, ignorant humans! The little elf
took out the deadly poisoned block from the tube and carefully wrapped
it in a garbage bag. At a later date the poison will be returned to the
already poisoned human society.

3-1
The third seat had a three-part steel ladder, but the elf had two
wrenches. He took the disassembled ladder also with him, to let it
disappear into the swamp..

4-1
The fourth hunter's seat was fixed to a tree with a chain, but the
little elf had a bolt-cutter in his backpack. With a beautiful arch, the
ugly monster landed on the swamp soil. The little elf was just about to
cut loose the same kind of canvas fabric as found around the second
seat, when a human caught him virtually red-handed. Quickly the little
elf covered his face. Luckily elves know very well how to flee through
forests and swamps without leaving any trace..

Postscript-
Among others, foxes, deer, hares, geese, pheasants, muskrats, beavers,
otters and wild boar see themselves caught between asphalt and concrete
each and every year, to serve as 'nature spotting thrill' for humans,
and on top of that be hunted down, run over by cars, shot or poisoned,
all on behalf of an industry which is called 'nature conservation' or
'-management'. Due to this reality, elves that get tagged by keyboard
warriors as 'extreme' and 'counterproductive' are proud of receiving
such moral criticism."